Ten Years

A couple months ago, Eddy and I were in the apartment that we will live in and we were painting and cleaning and getting it ready to move in. As I sat and looked out the window, I asked Eddy how long ago it was that his sister and brother-in-law had built the building. (Our apartment is the second floor of a building that had been sitting un-finished and empty). He told me that they built it about ten years ago. I started thinking about where we all were ten years ago. Ten years ago Guille and Shelley had been married for a few years, Sarah was a baby and Mark was on his way and they had just started a church, the school didn’t even exist yet. Ten years ago Eddy had was not yet a Christian, and I was just a year out of high school. At that time, I was on the wrong path, I was very angry and I had built very high walls around myself. Ten years ago, the last thing that I was thinking about was what God had planned for my life. But ten years ago, God built me a house.


I thought about everything I had been through over the last ten years. I thought about all the plans I had made for my life, the mistakes that I had made and frustration I had felt when things didn’t seem to go my way. Relationships had failed, plans to move away fell through, and jobs didn’t last. What I did not know through all my frustration and disappointments, was that God had already chosen a career, a husband, and place for me to live, and that every step of the way He was preparing me for a life that I knew nothing about. Looking back, I can clearly see how the jobs that I had and the people who came in and out of my life were preparing me for my work in the mission field and for my future marriage.

Ten years ago, God built me a house, even though I was probably the last person who deserved it. He loved me anyway and He worked in my life and He brought me to the Dominican Republic. As those workers were laying those bricks and as that apartment sat empty for so many years, God was preparing both me and Eddy. He knew that, years later, we would finish the house that He built for us. And we will now live in that house as we start our new life together working for His purposes in the mission field. That is what He did for us, even though we did not deserve it. And that day a few months ago, He opened my eyes to see that truth.

When all of that hit me as I looked out my windows at the mountains and the beautiful view, I had never felt so special and so loved. And I think that for the first time, I started to understand the unconditional love that our Father has for His children. The unconditional love that He has for me. I don’t deserve it, I can’t earn it, but He gives it to me anyway. I also feel so safe and secure in His hands. I have no idea what the future holds for me and Eddy, I don’t know if we will stay in the DR for the rest of our lives or if we will end up here in the states or if we will go to a new mission field. What I do know is that whatever the future holds and wherever we end up, God is already preparing the way for us and preparing us for the journey.

Café con leche

Eddy and I were lucky enough to take our engagement pictures on a beautiful Dominican beach. I love those pictures. Something that I noticed right away was that almost every Dominican we showed those pictures said, "Oh que lindo, café y leche." Translated: "Oh, how beautiful, coffee and milk." They were, of course, referring to our skin colors and how beautiful our skin is next to each other. Something similar happened at the grocery store. We were buying groceries and when the check-out girl gave me my change, she had two pesos, one that was older and dark and one that was new and lighter. And she said to me, "look, it's just like you and him, one dark and one light but together forever." (She saw my ring).


People in the Dominican Republic are much more comfortable talking about skin color. It is not a taboo subject. It is not something that is offensive to meantion, it is just a fact. I am white and Eddy is black. It is just a description of how we look, the same as saying that I am blonde or have blue eyes.  What I appreciate is that they not only can recognize it but they appreciate the beauty in it.

Our differences don't stop with skin color, however.  Eddy and I are different in a lot of ways.  We come from two very different backgrounds and cultures.  He is Dominican and I am American.  His first language is Spanish and my first language is English.  I grew up in a Christian home, and Eddy became a Christian as a teenager.  I grew up on pot roast and mashed potatoes, he grew up on rice and beans.  And the list could go on.

However, something that is much more important than how we are different is how we are the same. We are both children of God. We were both saved by Christ's death on the cross. We are both Christians who are seeking God's will for our lives.  We both have a desire to live a life pleasing to God.  We were both led here by God and we both feel called to continue serving Him in this ministry.  We both are sure that God brought us together for His purposes and we both desire to put God at the center of our relationship and, one day, our family.

When you are able to see that truth, that where it matters we are the same, then how you view the differences changes as well.  Our differences no longer look like problems or reasons for doubt.  Those differences, just like our skin colors, are now beautiful.  Those differences now speak about God's love and the beauty in His plan for our lives.  The fact that He brought us together from such different places and that He gave us the faith to follow Him and that He worked in our hearts and our lives to join us together so that we could serve His kingdom together here in the Dominican Republic, is beautiful.  I am amazed by it and so thankful for it and I thank God that He has opened my eyes so that I can now see it. 

I invite you to see the beauty in the plan that God has for your life.

Something to think about

Something that my friend Katie Copeland said to me several months ago has stuck with me ever since.  She was telling me about another friend of hers that was also a missionary.  I don't remember which country she was living in, but everyday, on her way to work, she would have to walk past a group of men that would harass her.  They would say horrible things to her, make gestures, basically they just enjoyed trying to make her miserable.  And when she would talk about it with Katie, she would say things like "I'm just having a really hard time loving them right now."  Because she understood.  She understood that we are called to love, that we are called to show the love of Jesus to everyone, whether they deserve it or not, because Jesus loves us, even though we don't deserve it.  Her reaction to these men, to try to show love to them, is not a typical reaction.  It's shocking.  And when Katie was recalling this story, she told me that her reaction was "Wow, you've been spending a lot of time with Jesus, haven't you?"  That is the sentence that I have thought about repeately ever since.

"Wow, you have been spending a lot of time with Jesus, haven't you?"

And in that moment, I knew that I wanted to live the kind of life that causes that kind of reaction.  I want to have such a close relationship with Christ that the things that I do or say are so abnormal and so shocking, that people have no other reaction but to accuse me of spending a lot of time with Jesus.  And most days, I fail.  Most days, people probably would not have that reaction to my life or to the things that I say.  But it remains my goal.  God puts this thought in my  mind often:  When people look at my life today and listen to the things that I say, will they look at me in surprise because they can tell that I have a deep, personal relationship with Christ? I hope so.

The First Six Months

When I was back in the states last month, I was asked to speak in church about my first six months in the DR. I spent a lot of time reflecting and praying about my first six months and wrote several different descriptions. The following is not the one that I chose to say in church, but I just found it on my computer and as I am readjusting to life here again, I needed to be reminded of these things that I had written about my life down here. So I thought I would share it with you as well.



"the last six months have been a journey. I have been through a lot, i have had ups and downs, but God has taught me many lessons along the way. But through it all there are two truths that i am now fully aware of:
1. That, on my own, I am completly incapable of doing everything that I hope to accomplish in the DR. and 2. that nothing is impossible with God

I have been made very aware of my own weaknesses. As soon as I arrived, I could feel the weight of the responsibility on my shoulders, and I was overwhelmed. I struggled with feeling inadequate for what God wanted me to do. I felt like, being a missionary, I should be more than what I am. Someone better than me should have been chosen for this mission, someone stronger, someone more capable. But at the same time I knew that God had chosen me for it, I never questioned the fact that it was God's will for me to be here, I just had no idea why. I compared myself to the other missionaries that I knew and I didn't seem to fit. My personality is not quite what I thought a missionary's should be. I am not very outgoing, I tend to be a little shy, I don't necessarily like being around new people. So, I beat myself up about it. I tried to change myself into who I thought I was supposed to be, what I thought a missionary is supposed to be like. But through that process I learned a few important things. First, God makes us all different for a reason. We are not meant to be cookie-cutter shapes of each other. We are each given different spiritual gifts so that together we form the body with Christ as our head. I needed to see that God made me as I am, and He, in His infinite wisdom gave me a set of unique strengths and weaknesses, spiritual gifts, and personality traits because He has a unique plan and a purpose for me. Also, I needed to be reminded that it's not about me. I am a sinner and I am weak, we all are, and He uses us to achieve great things so that He will be glorified through our works. So I needed to stop trying to find a way to be good enough, and completely lean on Him and allow Him to be my strength and to guide my actions and to work through me in the lives of the children and people around me. I needed to stop trying to change myself into who I thought I was supposed to be and allow Him to work in me and change me into the person He wants me to be for His purposes.

I love living in the DR. I love it because I know that it is where God wants me to be. And through it all, through the ups and the downs, through the struggles, through the sicknesses, there is a peace and joy that comes with knowing that you are in God's will. That you are following God and completely trust that He is there beside you and will never leave."