When I decided to come to the Dominican Republic, I dedicated myselef to 18 months, and decided that when the time came I would decide whether or not I would stay longer. Well, the time is coming. I am approaching the one-year mark and it's time to start making some decisions. However, for the first time in my life the decisions that I am making are long-term. Up until now, I only committed to things a year at a time. As a teacher, each summer I signed a contract with a school for one year, knowing that after that one year, I could change my mind. Each summer I also signed a one-year contract for my apartment. I think once I had to sign a two-year contract for my cell phone and it was a little bit stressful :). I lived my life a year at a time, I wasn't tied down to anything. Which is why it was possible for me to to pick up and move to the Dominican Republic within three months with relative ease.
However, over the past year, God has built a life for me here that is full of commitments and responsibilities. And now it is time to start searching out what God's plan is for me and which path I will choose. I would be easy to just let it happen but I want to be active in the decision. I don't want to wake up one day and wonder how I ended up here, I want to think it all through, look at all sides, know that God is leading me, and be actively and wholeheartedly following Him.
The first area in which I am seeking God's guidance is in my relationship with Eddy. I have meantioned him in this blog before but I have never talked too much about him, because what I have found is that once you meantion the boyfriend, that is what everybody wants to talk about and hear about and I didn't want to be distracted from talking about the more important things. He is not the reason that I am here, I am here to work for God's kingdom. However, he is a big part of my life down here. Eddy has been actively involved in the church and the school down here for several years. I believe that God put Eddy in my life to help me so that I had the support that I needed to do the work that God has called me to do here. I hope that my presence in Eddy's life is also one of support and encouragement as he works for God's kingdom as well. Eddy has been a major part of my life, first as a friend and then later as a boyfriend, for almost the entire time that I have been here. He has supported, encouraged, and prayed with me through all the ups and downs of the last year. He is a wonderful Christian man. He would be a great spiritual leader. I would appreciate your prayers as we continue to seek God's will for us.
The second thing that we need to figure out is what God's plan is for us in this mission. If we stay a part of this church and school we will be taking on more and more resposibilities. We would be committing the next several years of our lives to this mission. That is not to say that we could never leave, I am sure God has lots of twists and turns ahead for us, but we could not easily just pick up and leave. We are starting the process of meeting with Guille and Shelley, talking to my mission organization, and seeking out God's will to see if we are meant to be a part of this mission. We are excited to see if God will start opening doors or shutting them, and if He shuts them we will need to start searching for a different mission or a different path.
God has been revealing His will for my future to me for the past several month and I am starting to see it clearly. I can see a life here with Eddy by my side, forming a team with Guille and Shelley and helping them build a church and school that honors God and teaches the love of Christ. I know that it would be difficult, we would not have any money, sometimes not even for the necessities, we would be constantly attacked by the enemy who does not want this school or church to succeed, I would continue to be seperated from my family and my home and would continue to struggle with loneliness and the frustrations that come with living in a much differant culture (filled with bugs, ice cold showers, and no electricity). But I also know that despite all of the difficulties, it would be filled with the joy. The joy that comes with knowing that you are working for God's kingdom and that you are following God's will for you.
I believe that this is God's will for us, but there is so much to work out. What Eddy and I would be called to do is so difficult. Actually, saying that it is impossible would be more accurate. But we also know that nothing is impossible with God, and that if we were to succeed in our calling it would only be because of God. We know that if this is God's will for us, He will open the doors that need to be opened, open the hearts and ears of the people who need to hear, and give us the strength that we need to continue. Please pray for me and Eddy as well as Guille and Shelley as we search out what God's will is for this mission.
