Camino de Jesus

I have been thinking a lot lately about culture. My culture as a Dutch American, the culture of America in general, and the culture here in the Dominican Republic. The culture here is so different in so many ways and I often find myself in situations where I don't fully understand what is happening or why. As a result I spend a lot of time thinking about where I'm coming from, how I think based on my culture and the difference between that and where the people that I am meeting are coming from and how they think based on their culture. I believe that in order to navigate through life here I really have to have a firm understanding of that. I have also been thinking a lot about how much I want to make myself a part of the Dominican culture or, on the other hand, how much I want to separate myself from it. In general, I have been trying to figure out what kind of life God wants me to build here.

The fact that my experience here is very unique is both freeing and overwhelming at times. Most of the Americans that I have met, including Shelley, came to work at Santiago Christian School (SCS). This is an english-speaking school where all of the teachers are American. If you are a teacher at this school they assign you a nice apartment with roommates, you speak English all day, you have American roommates and American friends. Everything is planned out for you. For me, however, it is very different. I have the freedom and added responsibility of figuring it out for myself.

I am approaching a fork in the road. I will be living in this apartment until the end of July. After that, I don't know where I will be living for the following school year. The first idea that we had was that maybe I could move in with some of the teachers from SCS. I have had the opportunity to get to know some of the teachers there and they have an empty room. I would first need to get permission from SCS, however. If I were to move in there, my life would be pretty comfortable. I would be living in a very nice apartment with some great Christian American girls who are teachers as well. A friend from high school would be living in the same building. I could probably even get away with riding the SCS bus to and from work. It's a great plan and I believe that I could grow there and build a life there. However, God always seems to have other plans for me.

The day before Katie left, we went to Eddy's house to meet his family. We had a great time. They were so welcoming and open to us. I hadn't been that comfortable or happy since I arrived here. Which was odd considering I was surrounded by a bunch of people that I didn't know and didn't speak my language. It should have been the most uncomfortable that I have been. On the ride home, Katie (who knew that I had been struggling to find the balance and find my place here) turned to me and said that maybe I should move in with a Dominican family. That maybe that's what I needed to really feel at home here.

So I have been thinking about it a lot. And I have really been trying to seek God's wisdom in this decision. And it's interesting because He keeps leading me to Bible verses and sermons that are really speaking to me. For example, the other day I listened to a sermon, in which the pastor opened my eyes to the the fact that we put a really high value on comfort in our American culture. And I realized that that was what I was struggling with because that is what I would be giving up. I would be giving up my comfort. My own space with privacy, a hot water heater, and real running water. The place that I would be living in is in a poorer neighborhood where the living conditions are much different than the ones I am living in right now. But they are the living conditions of most Dominicans and I know that it would be beneficial for me in so many ways if I were to make the decision to live there. Over the last couple of weeks, I have continued to spend time in that neighborhood and with some Dominican families from my church and the feeling of peace and happiness that overcomes me when I am there is almost unbelievable to me. To a Dominican mom, there is nothing sadder than the fact that I live alone. They worry about me so much. It doesn't matter to them that I live in a really nice two-bedroom apartment, in wealthier neighborhood, or that I have some comforts that they don't have. Because those are not the things that they hold as being important. To them, people are important and family is important and living alone is the worst living condition that they can think of.

This decision feels a lot like the decision to move down here in the fact that it feels like the decision was made without me. I know that it will be difficult at times, that I will struggle with the cultural balance and the lack of American comforts, but if this is what God wants for me, then I have to be open to it and He is making me open to it. I know that I would grow as a person and in my faith in many ways and that it could help me be better suited for the work that He wants me to do here. I believe that God sent me here to be a part of it not to be on the outside looking in. I just have to figure out exactly what that means and how it will show itself in my life.