Love and Encouragement

About three weeks ago, I spent my day praying, crying, and writing. I learned long ago that God uses my blog to speak to me more than to anyone else.  The result of that day was my last blog post.

 I showed it to Eddy, took a deep breath, and hit "post".  

For the rest of the day, I was nervous.  I could see on my blog my stats, how many people were reading it, but I had no idea about their reactions.  I doubted myself and my decision to post it.  I couldn't get myself to read through it again, I was remembering what I wrote and all the negative ways people might see it. Eddy warned me that that would probably happen, and he was right.  I was kind of a mess.

And then, that night before bed, I checked my email.

I had received my first response.

I breathed a sigh of relief, I let all of my worry go, I read through my post again with new eyes.  No longer judgmental but with compassion and understanding.  From what I imagined was the perspective of the person who had written me.


The next day, I checked again, and I had a couple comments on the post and a few more emails.  Each day, for several days I received emails and messages.  Messages in which people shared their own experiences, messages of love and encouragement

I haven't been able to respond to all of you individually, but I would like to take this opportunity to thank you all for sharing your own experiences with me and for all of your love and prayers and support.  I can not tell you what it has meant to me.  Your responses have not only encouraged me but also helped me to face some things that I had been avoiding.  

I can see clearly now how God is using my post to help me.  Each time I re-read my post or received an email or message, I was forced to face and deal with my loss.  I choose to feel and cry and pray and talk to my husband when in the past I would have avoided thinking about it and found a way to distract myself.  These have not been the easiest three weeks of my life, but they have been a time of healing and growth. 

God has also used your responses to remind me how surrounded by love I really am.  How blessed I am to have so many people praying for me and supporting me.  I am so thankful for all of you.

These last weeks I have also been praying for joy and God has been answering.  Although I have had difficult days, there have been days when I find myself joyful.  Sunday was one of them.  On the way to church I felt joy and I was excited about worshiping and I knew that that joy was a direct answer to my prayers. 

I am also looking forward to several visitors in the next month.  On Saturday, the "Grannies on a Mission" will be returning (my mom and Ruth).  You guys can probably expect some updates on their blog next week.  Next Friday, my dad will come down to join my mom and Eddy and I will get to spend some time with them.  Right after that a woman from our mission organization is coming to visit for a couple weeks and Crown Point church is coming back down for their third construction work team in February.  The next month will be very busy, but having visitors and getting to spend time with family and friends is always good for me.   I will keep you all updated on how it all goes.